Good morning everybody! Welcome to The Edge Church online. My name is Steven Van Denend and I'm one of the pastors here. We’re really glad to have you joining us today as we continue on in our sermon series called The Parables where we're looking at some of the different parables from the Bible. Parables are really just short stories with a moral and spiritual lesson that Jesus speaks to us in the gospels about the kingdom of heaven.
In our parable this morning, Jesus is going to teach us about one of the hallmark characteristics of his kingdom and his people as he teaches us about forgiveness in The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.
So we're going to look at this together, and then at the end of the message, as always, I'm going to leave you with some reflection questions, just some things for you to consider. These are some things that maybe you can journal or write about, or perhaps just talk about in your home with your household or maybe with the church group that you're gathered with right now. And so, I want to just pray for us and then we'll jump into our message together.
Let's pray. Father, we just come before you today in the name of your son, Jesus. God, thank you for this time. Thank you for this day. Thank you for the opportunity to be together. Lord, pray that as we open up your word, God, that you would speak to us. Father, that you would minister by your spirit to every heart, to every person listening right now, or who will listen later. And God, that you would speak. God, that we'd have ears to hear from you. Father, that we would have hearts that are open to receive of you. God, that you would have your way in us. And so God, we just commit this time to you. Jesus, it's in your name we pray, Amen.
If you have your Bible, you can open it up to Matthew 18. And we find our parable beginning in verse 21. It says this:
The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
I want to just stop right there for a minute because I want us to understand what's happening here in this exchange between Jesus and Peter. See right up, before this point in time, Jesus has been teaching his disciples about how we are to deal with one another in the church as brothers and sisters, when someone sins against us. And so Jesus takes them through this whole process of what that's meant to look like. That if someone sins against you, you're meant to go to that person and work it out with them. But if that doesn't happen, that doesn't work, then you're to take someone else or a couple people that know you and know them that love you and care for you, that love the Lord. You bring them with, to try and help mediate and bring about reconciliation. And then if that doesn't work, it says, Jesus says, listen, bring that to the church, bring that to the leaders of the church. Let them be a part of sorting that out. And if still that doesn't work, then at that point, Jesus says, then treat them like an outsider, which is really just to say to not be in fellowship with them — to not draw close to them and commune with them in that way.
If I'm honest this morning, I would say that I think the church at large would look a whole lot different and really a whole lot better if we practiced this process together. Oftentimes I think what happens is we quickly jump right to step number four and say, Hey, I'm just done with you. I'm out on you. Rather than walk through this process and discover this greater work that God wants to do in us and amongst us together.
So Peter is continuing on with this idea of forgiveness, this idea of reconciliation. And he says to Jesus he's like, listen, Jesus, I understand this process, but how many times should we forgive someone who sins against us? What happens if they do it again? Or what happens maybe if they even do something else? My guess is that most of us could relate to that. Most of us have had an experience like that with someone in our life at one point or another.
What's really interesting here is that Peter comes in and says to Jesus, Hey, so like seven times, Jesus? Would seven times be a good number? And, and that's significant because in that day and in that culture — the Jewish culture and faith — what was customary, what was normal, is that you were to forgive someone up to three times. And so for three times you forgive them, and then after that, you were sort of released from the duty of forgiving them. You can move on from them. You could dismiss them at that point as being someone undeserving of forgiveness. And so when Peter asked Jesus, should we forgive them up to seven times? Peter thinks he's being incredibly gracious. Peter believes himself to be incredibly merciful with this number. Like Jesus, the culture says three times, but what about seven? That's like more than double the cultural norm. And instead of Jesus being impressed by Peter's statement, Jesus says to him, no, not seven times, but 77 times. And other versions of scripture says that Jesus says not seven but 7 times 70. And really the point that Jesus is making here has nothing to do with the number of times that we ought to forgive someone. Jesus' point is that if you're counting, then it isn't forgiveness. Because forgiveness isn't meant to be something that's an exception. Forgiveness is meant to be the norm when it comes to the people of God. And so how often? How many times should you forgive? Jesus is like all the time, every time abundantly, that's what he's saying. And so to help the disciples and to help us understand where Jesus is coming from, he tells this story; beginning in verse 23, he says this:
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
So to get at this concept of forgiveness, Jesus begins by talking about what the kingdom of heaven is like. Because in order for us to rightly understand who we are meant to be, then the right place for us to begin is with God himself and what God is like, because we were created in his image and likeness to reflect him and what he's like.
And so Jesus tells us about this servant who owes a King 10,000 bags of gold. To put that in perspective for you, it would take the average person about 20 years to earn about one bag of gold. So this is an infinite amount of money. One bag in 20 years, this is 10,000 bags of gold. This is an impossible amount to repay. It would take lifetimes to get at. But instead of the King punishing the servant, instead of the King demanding his payment, the King is outrageously merciful and generous. And he doesn't just give the servant more time. He actually cancels his debt all together. He erases it completely and lets the servant go free. Now the King here in this story that Jesus is telling is God himself. And we are the servants, and Jesus is saying, listen, each one of us owes a debt to God because of our own sinfulness that we could never pay not in a million lifetimes, not ever. And yet God in his mercy, through Jesus and his death on the cross for our sin, he cancels our debt. He frees us from the penalty of sin and death.
Titus 3: 4-7, It says:
4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
In other words here, God is saying to us that, listen, God saves us not because of our goodness, but because of his. That God moves because of his own mercy and his own kindness, not because of our worthiness. So, God is this infinitely merciful God and the cross of Jesus puts his mercy on full display. It's in light of this reality of God then that Jesus continues the story by talking about the response of this servant who has been forgiven this great debt and set free. And he says this starting in verse 28, he says:
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. [far less, right?] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
So now here in this second part of the story, Jesus addresses how we tend to often treat those who sin against us and, and how that tends to look radically different from the way that the King or that God acts towards us. So the idea here is that when you, when you really grasp in your heart, how much you have been forgiven and freed of by the grace and the mercy of God at such a great cost to himself, that it ought to compel you to be merciful towards others and forgive them even at a great cost to you.
Yet so often our response to the sin of others is not to forgive like we've been forgiven. Rather, it's to be unmerciful, rather it's to be graceless. And so for many of us, we end up walking around, carrying with us all kinds of unforgiveness towards others who have wronged us. Maybe that's parents or family members, maybe that's church members or pastors, maybe that's an old friend who wounded us. Leaders or institutions that wronged us or towards that stranger or family members who abused or mistreated us in some kind of way. So sometimes it's not even some great big thing or event that happened in our life, it's just the accumulation of all these little things that happened over time. I think if we're willing to be honest, forgiveness is a very real struggle for most of us. I think that's why Jesus is telling this story and why we're the servant in that story because it's common. And because then in our weakness and our selfishness in our woundedness and self-righteousness, we are prone to unforgiveness. We are prone to bitterness and vengeance and resentment. And yet the call of God on our lives as representatives of him is to forgive others like we have been forgiven ourselves by God. In fact, the way Jesus tells this story, it's unfathomable to God that a people who have been forgiven so much could forgive so little. We are meant to be merciful and gracious like God our father is to forgive like he forgave us. And anything less than that is a misrepresentation of God himself in his kingdom. It is a false witness to the world about what God is like. So forgiveness then is essential, not just for us, but from us, that that word forgive literally means to release or let go, which is to say then that I don't continue to hold something against you. I don't continue to hold something on you or over you.
I love the definition that Thomas Watson, the 17th Century Puritain preacher gave, he said this, “We forgive others when we strive against all thoughts of revenge. When we will not do our enemies mischief, but when we wish them well. When we grieve with their calamities, pray for them, seek reconciliation with them and show ourselves ready on all occasions to relieve them.” In other words, he's saying here that forgiveness isn't simply the absence of unforgiveness, any more than health is simply the absence of illness. Forgiveness is a transformative work that moves us from being against, to being for, from animosity to generosity, from hatred to love — it is an active work and not a passive one. And then forgiveness compels us to act on behalf of, for the good of, that other person.
Now, even as I say that, let me be just clear about some things that forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not saying that that thing never happened — that sin was never committed. Forgiveness isn't really forgetting, as if you could forget anyway. Forgiveness doesn't mean that the behavior was okay. Forgiveness doesn't mean there's not going to be any boundaries in our relationship. Forgiveness doesn't mean that there isn't any earthly justice to be had or that the offender won't face any consequences. Forgiveness also is often not simply a moment that we experienced, but a process. It's not necessarily something that we did once, but it's something that we do over and over again as we yield our heart to God and he transforms our heart towards that person. Listen to me here, forgiveness does not change the past, but forgiveness does change you and ultimately your future. Unforgiveness is a chain to your past — it will hold you there. It will keep you in that place. And for moving forward into all that God has for you. It's a poison to your own soul. And one that just leaves you bitter and angry and resentful and wounded. And it's because of this then that Jesus, even in verse 35, he speaks to this idea that if we withhold forgiveness towards others, that we forfeit the grace and mercy of God for ourselves. Now that's an incredibly sobering thought. And one that ought to really grip our hearts because that's the greatest consequence of them all. This is why God's word says to us in places like Hebrews chapter 12, verse 15, it says, “see to it that no one among you falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness grows up to cause trouble and defile many”. Unforgiveness ultimately leads us away from the grace and freedom of God in our lives and into a bitterness that gets rooted into our lives and produces all kinds of negative fruit — in trouble, in chaos and havoc. It will rob you of joy and peace and contentment. It has negative effects in your life, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Whereas the contrast of that is that the fruit of forgiveness, it not only leads you into the grace and freedom of God for you but even research from places like Stanford's Forgiveness Project tells us that learning to forgive will actually lessen the amount of anger and hurt and stress and depression that a person experiences. That forgiveness will lead you into being more optimistic and hopeful and compassionate. And that forgiveness, the way of forgiveness, will lead to overall improved physical health and increase levels of energy. Forgiveness is a gift, not simply from us to the person who sinned against us, but for us ourselves, in order to be free and whole. And so Jesus is always inviting us into something better into something that brings healing to our own hearts and lives and into a way of being that puts the kingdom of heaven on display for a broken world.
All of this then starts by us receiving God's forgiveness for us in Christ — that he purchased with his own blood on the cross for your sin and for mine. It starts by receiving his grace and his mercy for the debt that you and I could never repay, not in a million lifetimes. And because reality of that then, that as you think on that, as you meditate on that, as you reflect on that, as you talk about that, as you truly receive that, that will ultimately transform first your heart and then cause you to live in light of that in such a way where you can forgive others. Ultimately, you can't give what you don't have. And so having not received God's grace for your life is going to make it really hard for you to walk in a grace to forgive others. But when you behold the grace of God for your life, when you understand just how much you have been loved and forgiven by the king of the universe at such a great cost to himself, then you become compelled to forgive others, even at a great cost to yourself. Forgiven people are a forgiving people. That's what Jesus is teaching us here, in the invitation of Jesus today is to receive his forgiveness first for our sin. And then is to apply that grace to forgiving those who sin against us, that we might ourselves walk in his wholeness and in his freedom, and that they might experience the kingdom of heaven and turn towards God and the king. There's so many things that we could talk about here in this parable. But I want to create some space now just for you to think about this parable, for you to reflect on that and where you're at in your life, and also for you who are gathered in house churches, just to spend a little bit of time sharing together and seeing how God might want to use you to encourage one another, bless one another and minister to one another.
So here's a few questions for you as I wrap up this morning. Question number one, really simple. What's your biggest takeaway this morning? What is the one thing that really stands out to you from this parable Jesus teaches us and the message I shared with you today? What's the thing that grips your heart? That's the first question. The second question is this, How has the reality of God's grace and mercy towards you impacted and affected your life? What has been the effect of God's grace upon your life? What does that look like in your life? Have you received that grace? How's that working out? How's that playing out? What comes to your mind when you think about God's grace? How do you feel about that? Here's the third question. Is there anyone in your life that you continue to carry unforgiveness towards that God is calling you to forgive? If you were really honest this morning, is there anybody in your life, maybe it's more than one person; maybe it's a group of people; maybe it's all kinds of people. Is there anybody though that if you were really honest, you would say, you know what? I know I haven't forgiven them? And God's heart for me is to receive his grace and to be an ambassador of his grace is to apply that grace to that person, that situation, not only for my sake, but for theirs. So what does that look like for you? What's your takeaway? How has God's grace played out in your life? Who is God inviting you into? Who do you have in your life that is meant to be a recipient of God's grace through you? I just want to close us in prayer, then give you some time to reflect on that, journal about it, talk about it and see how God wants to minister in and through you.
Let's pray. Father, thanks for this morning. God, thanks for this time. Thanks for your word. God, I just thank you that your word is true. Lord, that you said that your word would always accomplish its purpose. And so God, I thank you for work that you're doing even now in our hearts and lives. And God, I pray that as we reflect on your word, God, that you, Holy Spirit, would minister to us. That you would reveal to us places in our own hearts that aren't yet yielded to you. God, maybe people in our life, Lord, that we've been holding unforgiveness and bitterness and resentment towards that God, you are inviting us into just ministering your mercy and grace to that forgiveness that we've received, God, that we can extend to them. God would you just continue to do a work in us, Lord, I pray that this word will be planted deep in every heart. God, I pray that for every person they would know your grace and your mercy be recipients of that grace for their lives, and Lord that we, as your people would be ambassadors of your grace to the world. Lord have your way in us. Thanks for this time. God, continue to do a work in us. Jesus, in your name, I pray. Amen.